Turmoil & Trouble

April 10, 2018

I would be fine if I went to sleep tonight and didn’t wake up. I’ve had a couple of situations this last week that makes me think I may be losing it. 

Tonight I got a note from an eBay customer that my listing of a first edition was incorrect. I tried to make that change, but because there was an open bid on the item, I couldn’t change it. Not being able to change it threw me over the edge. I sat at my desk holding my head, rocking back and forth, unable to make the change, but knowing I needed to. I’ll just wait until tomorrow, I told myself. So I went for a walk around the block and came back in feeling awful. 

This morning I went to US Bank to deposit $220 to my savings account. 100 of that was from Moreen for my birthday. Put my ATM card in the slot, and then the cash, and the bank recorded that I’d only put in $200. That’s not right, so I asked for the cash to be returned. I got $80 back, no receipt, and my ATM card was stuck in the machine. I told one of the bank employees, who went into my account and said that there was no record of my making any deposit. My head was spinning I was so angry and confused. No, I can’t wait in the lobby. I’ll just wait out here. I’m so angry, I told the lady. I stood outside and knocked my head against the ATM machine. Earlier I’d hit it when my money didn’t come out. She came back and said I needed to call the number on the back of my card (which was finally regurgitated) and the bank would do an audit next week and then they would see if it was correct what I was saying. I turned around and walked away from her, my mind in so much turmoil. I wanted to open the bank door and yell “FUCK” as loud as I could. Instead I walked slowly back to my car at the library. On the way back I stopped in the alley by CVS and with my back to the wall, banged my head a dozen times on the wall, enough to cause pain but not to leave a bruise I guess. 

I got in my car and decided I’d go to SD County Credit Union and open new accounts. I left the paperwork in the trunk of the car. I told the clerk at the credit union what had happened and told her I decided instead of getting mad I’d get even, and reiopen accoiunts I had at the credit union, where I was before going to US Bank. 

No one from the bank came outside to apologize to me or say how sorry they were that this had happened. Yes, I could have been some crazy many making up the whole story. But still, I was a regular customer there and there was no effort to appease me, even offer a cup of coffee, or “come sit down and you’ll feel better.”

Two weeks later the bank sent a check for $200.